It snowed again last night in Seattle. I did pray it would stick and cause another Snow Day for everyone since today is officially back-to-work day. Feeling a little overwhelmed with the new year, but it sounds like everybody is based on some fleeting Facebook statuses I've seen lately.
Had a major brain kerfuffle when working on my dummy and I've changed all of the settings which means the dummy needs to be redone and was not finished for last year. Other projects I am working on I just am not feeling confident about. I know I'm not alone, but being naturally melodramatic I have a hard time believing that. To combat the melodrama I've been reading this book I heard about on CraftCast, and rereread a book Kirby recommended a long time ago, Art and Fear. And one of my favorite sites put an '08 recap up with this lovely quote from our own extra lovely Julie Paschkis:
“Every book has something about it that is hard for me -– there is always a moment when I am terrified that I can’t do it or there is some aspect that feels overwhelming. There is usually a turning point where I can turn that fear into creativity -– I can figure out how to approach the problem in a way that is interesting.”
When you don't have a book contract it is really hard to know if you are on the right road for your project or even ON a road. And not actually 2 inches from falling off the edge of a rail road bridge with a 400 foot drop and starving crocodiles underneath. Having editorial approval must give you some sense of safety, right? That someone with experience and moola believes in you? Someone more in the know than your cat? Enough of a sense of safety that you can turn the fear into creativity? Instead of crying in your paint palette/eating a donut/taking a nap with said cat?
I thought I'd feel buoyed from the holiday monster art show. That was a huge goal for myself. And now I'm looking for something bigger and better and the success I felt has worn off into a real funk. Aaron says this is typical for creative types. I think it is a pile of horse doodoo. What do you do to trick your mind out of it? Maybe I am not at that chapter yet in the x number of books I'm reading on the subject. I think in Art & Fear they just say, 'get over it, you whine-hole.'
Maybe I'll make a t-shirt with that phrase. But if I wear the t-shirt I won't be able to read it. So I'll make Logan and Bebop wear one. That's something.